Kelly Kapoor, a candidate went to interview for the position of Regional Manager in her organization.
She was asked why did she think she was qualified for the job. She replied, “I’ve been managing my department for several years now, and God I’ve learned a lot of life lessons along the way.”
The interviewer pointed out, “Your department is just you, right?”
She stated, “Yes Jim, but I’m not easy to manage”
This funny excerpt is from a very popular TV show called The Office which happens to be one of my favourites. But isn’t what she said true? Managing ourselves, that’s pretty difficult, isn’t it? It requires a lot of introspection and an honest deep dive into your emotional intelligence, self-control, and leadership style.
In the dynamic landscape of leadership, one quality reigns supreme: grace. Leading with grace involves navigating challenges with poise, empathy, and integrity, fostering environments where individuals thrive and teams excel. At the heart of graceful leadership lies emotional intelligence (EI), a fundamental skill that enables leaders to understand and manage emotions effectively.
Graceful leaders are adept at active listening, understanding the needs and concerns of their team members, and addressing them with compassion and fairness.
Unlike drama-driven leadership, which thrives on conflict and ego, graceful leadership seeks to resolve conflicts peacefully and constructively. Rather than placing blame or engaging in power struggles, graceful leaders focus on finding solutions that benefit everyone involved. They prioritize building relationships based on trust and mutual respect, creating an environment where individuals feel valued and supported.
Emotional intelligence encompasses the ability to recognize, understand, and manage both our own emotions and those of others. It involves empathy, self-awareness, social skills, and self-regulation—qualities that are essential for effective leadership. Leaders with high emotional intelligence are adept at navigating complex interpersonal dynamics, inspiring trust, and fostering meaningful connections with their team members.
A survey from International Order in Psychology states that companies will not hire people with high IQ and low EQ. Emotional Intelligence doesn’t only make the most desired candidate in the hiring process, it is also essential for your well-being. Emotions have a physiological impact as well on us. It means we are not properly processing our emotions.
Being in a leadership position and being able to control our emotions also impacts our decision-making process. It is called the Amygdala Hijack. Our first reaction to the situation is fight or flight, it is coloured with emotions. When we are in a state of overwhelming emotion, we should avoid making any major decisions because our fight or flight will be in motion. We need to manage them so that we don’t regret them and we should be careful to not commit anything under the influence of emotion which later, we will not be able to fulfil.
Emotional intelligence is a skill to gain to become a successful leader who leads with grace because business is more about people and technology and when it comes to people, you need EQ more than IQ. IQ does open doors for you but EQ paves your way ahead.
Elements of Emotional Intelligence:
1. Self-awareness- knowing yourself. A study by Harvard University states that 90-95% of people said they are self-aware but in reality, only 5-10% are. One way to become self-aware is to take Feedback from people you trust will give you an honest opinion. This way you will be able to analyze the results and might even find some meaningful revelations about yourself.
2. Regulating yourself – Know your triggers, if you know them, you can regulate yourself. If we don’t know what we need to work on, nothing will change.
3. Empathy- When you have empathy for others, you’ll have gratitude. When you have gratitude, you are grounded, it gives you power.
4. Self-motivation- There are two types two types of people, Extrinsic and intrinsic. Emotionally intelligent people are driven and motivated by an inner motivation. Extrinsic leaders work with outside motivation. Intrinsic leaders lead with inner motivation.
Even though attaining emotional intelligence is a lifelong journey, there is one activity that I like to call Theater Artist. Speak one sentence in various emotions. The same sentence said with different emotions can change the meaning of the sentence. This can help you regulate the way you communicate your emotions.
Leading with grace is not just a leadership style; it’s a way of being—a commitment to empathy, integrity, and resilience in the face of adversity. By cultivating emotional intelligence, leaders can unlock the full potential of graceful leadership, creating environments where individuals thrive and organizations flourish. As we navigate the complexities of the modern world, let us embrace the power of leading with grace and emotional intelligence, paving the way for a brighter, more compassionate future.
Very interesting writeup. Establishes link between Leadership and Emotional Intelligence.